taking Jessica to BYU

On August 24, 2011 Jessica and I flew to SLC to take Jessica to Provo, UT to attend BYU.  It's been a long awaited arrival to the college of her choice!  She's a little scare and very excited!  I am too.  This is the view from her plane window of the Great Salt Lake as we approached SLC.  There was so preparation that had to go into this so the following is an account of this week…

You know how I've been dreading the time that I would have to say goodbye to Jessica as she prepares to leave for college - well, those days have now come to face me square in the face.  This past week I have packed, traveled and left her at college - some 2000 miles away.  I thought it would be terrible, that it would be like ripping out part of my own heart.  How could I go on?  How could I pass her room every night without saying "good night" to her?

It's hard to believe but I not only survived leaving her at college, but I am thrilled for her to have this opportunity.  It didn't all happen at once.  It went like this …

Day 1-Monday:  I reminded her she needed to be packing just about everything she wanted to have with her for the next four months.  Suitcases, six of them, came up from the basement and were scattered all around her room and mine.  She packed up all the winter clothing - one down, five to go.  Slowly but surely she made progress.

Day 2-Tuesday:  She met with friends and then we finished packing - thanks to space saver bags. (which took forever).  Reality starts to hit home.  Little sister is crying - I comfort her, she is crying, I comfort her.  It was a wonderful talk, the right time and the right words.  I really want to thank my Heavenly Father for guiding me.

Day 3-Wednesday:  We load the suitcases into the van.  The family eats breakfast out together and then drives the younger kids to school.  We say our goodbyes there before dad drives us to the airport.  It was very hard for her dad to say goodbye.  Streams of tears came down his face, eyes redder then ever.  We flew out together. 

We arrived at BYU.  Check in.  Go to the room.  It's so exciting!!!  We haul the six huge suitcases up the three flights of stairs and stair at the blank room.  Where to begin?  Well, in reality we are both so excited to start decorating her room and getting her settled in.  She's scared but excited too.  Things get unpacked and a shopping list is created.  I'm in the zone - let's get this done.  We head out for dinner and for supplies.  Oh, My, goodness.  $480 later we come back from Target with everything she could possibly need.  She's set - the rest is on her.  We start in filling drawers, hanging up clothes, and arranging the big items.  Everything is done except for the two things that require a screwdriver - who knew.  We will have to borrow that from someone.  It's late.  She's decided to sleep in her dorm.  I head to my hotel room.  She loves her room and feels very good about being there.  I have no worries yet.

the view out her window:  hint hint

all set:  cutest dorm room on campus

Jenny finally arrives

Day 4-Thursday:  It's orientation day.  I meet her at her dorm along with Jenny and part of her family (friends of the family).  We walk over to check in together.  The students go off to their groups and the parents head in the direction they are to go - to the big conference center.  At the conference center it hits me - THIS IS THE BIG MOMENT.  I realize I am (in a day or two) just leave her here - alone - no family.  Her and the big campus.  Tears roll down my face.  I can't believe I can just leave her - how can I.  How terrible.   Reality is setting in - Mark faced it a day before, but now I, the one that was strong for everyone else, am alone to face my biggest challenge.  I go all day without seeing her or even hearing from her.  She's made new friends and is enjoying her orientation.  Reality is choking me and I miss her more with every passing minute.

BYU Cheerleaders at pep rally

We meet for dinner with Sandra, Darrin, Jenny, and Hannah.  What a great time.  That night they had a special celebration entitled "Tradition of Honor" which was all about the Honor Code at BYU and staying true to it!  I am so glad Jessica will be at a school that honors her values and morals.  Next is when it really hit me for the second time in one day.  Jessica, unknowingly really broke my heart.  After the "Tradition of Honor" the Freshmen were directed to the Football Stadium to have their Freshman Class Picture taken in the shape of a Y.  It is the first time they have ever done this.  We were all so excited to go (parents too) until Jessica said, "Are you going?" - emphasis on the Are YOU.  Here I've just spent $850 to fly us out, $457 on hotels to stay, $480 at Target for her supplies and I only have specific times that we can spend time together (Jessica has orientation all day tomorrow as well), and she doesn't even want to spend time together.  Wow - a dagger straight through the heart.  I am happy that she's made friends and wants to be with them, but what hurt is that she doesn't realize she has the whole semester/year to be with them and I've sacrificed a lot to be able to have these last 4 days with her.  I let her go off, but I too go to the stadium to get photos.  It was quite spectacular.  I'd never been to the BYU stadium.  It's a thrill.  That was it for the night - I went back to the hotel around 10:30.

BYU Dance team

Freshman class;  Jessica is in the middle

Day 5-Friday:  Jessica has orientation so I enjoy my morning.  I take a 5k jog, went grocery shopping for Jessica and then meet Sandra and her sister for lunch.  We share about our experiences.  I then go off to meet my niece Ali (Alex) Hodge at her apartment.  We drive over to the hotel to find my sister, Sandy and her fiance', Chris and two boys Hunter and Riker checking in.  Perfect timing.  We spend the afternoon together before I leave to pick up Jessica for dinner.  Now, I'm still feeling very removed from her life, but the reality that "this is what is supposed to be" is sinking in and I conclude that it doesn't matter how much time I have with her, as long as I make it the best.  We have a wonderful time with Sandy, Chris, Ali and her boyfriend - Chris, and the two cousins Jessica has never met - Hunter and Riker at Texas Roadhouse.

Day 6-Saturday:  This is my last full day in Provo.  Jessica works out in the morning at the field house with her friends so I get my 5k jog in again.  Feels great, but the air is thin.  I pick Jessica up at 11:45 so we can meet up with some of her other cousins.  I want to make sure Jessica knows that she has family close by.  At noon we visit Shannon (Weaver) now Pope and her new husband Nick.  They were married just 3 weeks prior.  They live just 6 blocks from Jessica's dorm.  Then we met Sandy and the crew for lunch before they headed back to Seattle.  It was great to see her and Ali!  Ali let us borrow a screwdriver so I put up Jessica's drapes and constructed her night stand (it took a whole 15 minutes).  We left Provo around 5:00 to meet Jessica's Uncle Alan and Aunt Laurel with Kaeloni and Mikayla for dinner.  It was so great to see them.  Alan and Jessica were very close when Jessica was a young girl (before moving to England).  It's great to know she has family close by!  We then drove as fast as we could back to campus so Jessica could attend the "Orientation Party and Dance" that started at 8:00.  I told her I had to be at the airport by 9:00 so I was going to say my goodbyes tonight.  She asked me to come back after the party so she wouldn't be crying before.  I said that would be fine.  I went back to the hotel until 10:45 and then drove out in the rain.  I texted Jessica and offered to pick her up since it was raining and she was walking but she said she would walk back.  THIS IS WHERE IT GETS SAD.  So, I go up to her room and wait in the hallway at 11:00, knowing it will take some time to get back but she should be there soon.  11:15 - no Jessica.  I text her - no answer.  11:30 - no Jessica.  I text her.  no answer.  11:45 - I decide she decided it was more fun to be with friends than to say goodbye to her mom.  I'm very sad, crying really.  I text her one more time saying that I had waited 45 minutes and really wanted to say goodbye but needed to get going.  She finally texted me back and said she was on her way.  I was so sad.  It truly felt that it was more important for her to be with her new friends than it was for her to say goodbye to me.   I just couldn't believe it.  I mean I'm happy that she truly seems well adjusted - at least I don't feel the need to worry about her, but really, to forget about saying goodbye to your mother.  Ouch!!!Well, she rushed over and we talked.  Her friends showed up needing a ride back to their place so Jessica and I gave Amanda a ride.  We then had a chance to talk, hug and say goodbye before she turned to go back in her dorm.  Honestly, I cried because I'm so proud of her and will miss her so much, but I wasn't sad (like I thought I'd be).  I'm really happy for her and know she is all set.  She's prepared, she's got a great schedule, great roommate, new friends, and seems to feel comfortable!  What more could I ask for (except that the college not be 2000 miles away).  Love her!  Miss her! Trust her!  Admire her!  Respect her!  and most of all Happy that she is confident, happy and ready for this next step in her life!