Failure - Betsy Jean Lowe

I'm done - I am a failure as a mother. 

Jessica shared with me today all the things I have done to hurt her - worst of all was the birth of Cayson.  How do you ever overcome that - never.  She hates and loves me, but I know deep down she doesn't like me.
Devon does not want to even answer the phone because he does not want to hear me ask about school.
Marissa tells me how I ruined high school, how I don't say the right thing, and
Robert - I just can't even imagine all the things I did wrong.  He bullies me, he has a lot of hate and resentment for me.

So I raised amazing kids, but I am terrible, horrible, and worthless.

The only thing I ever wanted to be good at was being a mom, and I am a complete failure.

I am so tired of trying so hard to do the right thing only to end up doing the wrong.
I am so tired of my kids telling me how terrible I am after I try so hard - and do any of them think of me, or my feelings. I am just some sacrificial lamb that they blame.

I ruin everything because I am sensitive, feel hurt and unloved. 

I don't fit in a family.  I wasn't loved by my parents, and now I am not loved by my kids.  I am worthless.

They would all be so much happier without me around.  They get along great with each other!  I created four amazing individuals that I admire, love and cherish.  That much is wonderful.  I wish with all my heart I could be someone other than me.  I wish I could make past thing better, but they never let me forget how I ruined things.  I am to sad to keep it up. I just should never have been part of a family.  If I weren't I would not have let anyone down or disappointed them, or hurt their feelings. 

I was meant to be alone.  That way I can't hurt anyone.