Easter 2020

We started out with a wonderful Easter Sunday ... but that turned quickly and it became one of the worst Easter Sunday's I have ever experienced. 

Saturday night we watched Courageous.  We thought it was a good thing because it is a spiritual movie, however, it had some sort of crazy effect on Robert - we found out later today. (but I'm getting ahead of myself)

Overnight the Easter Bunny came and left Easter Baskets filled with treats for Robert, Marissa, Mark and Betsy.  Mark was surprised that his basket was filled with all sorts of dark chocolate treats. 

We had our traditional cinnamon roll breakfast and then we all got dressed for home church. 

We had the sacrament and a wonderful discussion about the love of our Savior and his sacrifice - the blessed Atonement - that gives all of us hope.  It was weird that I could feel like something was wrong.  Robert seemed to be upset with us but didn't say anything.  He's been very judgmental since he's been home from his mission, but that is to be expected. 

It's always made me feel so sad that he doesn't like being home.  Marissa was the same way.  I feel like they loved their mission president and his wife more than their mom and dad - or at least their mom.  They say how wonderful their mission president and his wife were but then they criticize me or the way Mark and I do things.  We aren't perfect by any means but we do love them so much and show our love for them every day.  We love each other too - so much.  I don't know what our kids don't see - what they don't appreciate.

Anyway, we went outside for an Easter Photo and Robert blew up at us and said we didn't sustain the priesthood in our home, he yelled at us and made Betsy cry before stormed off to his room.

He disappeared into his room for the entire day.  He refused to talk to us, even to Marissa.  He blocked his door so that we couldn't get in.  He only came our for Easter dinner, and then he went back to his room. 

This is by far the worse, absolutely most terrible EASTER ever.  I felt horrible all day - all day - every second of every minute of ever hour!!!

Marissa and I were at a loss.  We tried to bring the spirit back into the home but we were all so concerned about Robert - we wanted to resolve whatever was bothering him.  We wanted to address whatever we had done to make him so upset, but then he just refused to talk to us. 

I wrote him a letter and slid it under his door.  I said I was sorry for being me.  Essentially - I think that is the most of it.  He doesn't like the person I am. 

It breaks my heart - it will forever - that's got to be the worst.  I will spend the rest of my life trying to be more Christlike, more humble, more obedient, more honorable but it won't matter.