Devon broke out in welts

Poor Devon, he came home from practice tonight with a rash all over the left side of his neck, the left side of his shoulder blade and all over the lower part of his back - this also had welts larger than a quarter.  He also had a rash on his legs and forearms.

It looks like he may have touched something during XC practice that was poisonous.  Having the oils on his hands, he spread the contamination to other parts of his body.  Anywhere that he would have rubbed or scratched is now broken out in a rash/welt.

There was, what Devon thought was a broken branch, on the ground that he moved.  He didn't think anything of it at the time, but now he wonders if it wasn't a Poison Ivy or Poison Oak root.  He said there were no leaves on it to identify it.  This same thing happened to Mark last year and he ended up on prescription medication as the only way to get rid of the rash.

Oh my gosh!  Number one, he is allergic and asthmatic.  We had to treat this quickly and efficiently to remove the oils from his body, reduce the earge to itch or scratch (which Devon absolutely has no self-control to keep from itching - as evident from his reaction to mosquito bites), and reduce the swelling and inflammation.   We need to keep a close eye on it to make sure it doesn't effect his breathing.

Number two, I can't believe his bad luck.  Tomorrow is one of the biggest races for his XC season because it is the most promising for a PR, but now with this rash = uggh!  Almost every meet there has been an issue - last week he was allergic to the horses at the horse park.  I feel so bad for him because all he wants to do is show his coach he is improving (and prove to himself the hard work is worth it).

We have had him wash his hands thoroughly with dish soap, then washed each area - careful not to spread it with the same soap.  At the same time we gave him benedryl to reduce the itch and help him sleep tonight.  We then put cortisone cream on the affected spots and then calamine lotion.  On please help Devon feel better.  He can't help himself not itch - it will spread all over if he itches.


My thoughts and prayers are for him tonight.

Oliver finds a permanent home

*** (for this article I want to be sensitive and yet truthful about our experience.  It will be difficult to accomplish one without challenging the other.  Since this is a record I will error on the side of truth so that I record an accurate account.  I don't want it to sound insensitive because we grew to love and cherish Oliver as a family member devoting hours and hours to help him learn and grow.)

 On Thursday, September 29 Oliver left our home to live with his permanent family.  We were never supposed to have him forever, we were his welcome family - housing up to six weeks.  We had him for four - it's great that CIEE found him a permanent home so quickly.  It was a great experience to have someone from Germany (home of my ancestors) in our house for a month.  Oliver was very good at speaking English and listened to our language use and vocabulary extensively - he is very interested in improving his English skills.

Oliver had some unique habits/preferences (obsessions) that challenged the countenance of our home, so although we were sad to see him go, it was also the right thing for everyone.  Oliver was very opinionated in doing things his way despite good advice or adult (parental instruction).

The problems started to show up  but on the 10th day after he came to live with us he made a costly bad choice.  Oliver had wanted to change his school schedule, dropping Engineering Concepts in exchange for Guitar.  We were fine with that providing his mother agreed.  To take guitar each student has to purchase or rent a guitar.  We needed her approval for the expense.  It was made very clear to him (repeatedly) that we could not make the change until we had her approval, and yet he went to school and changed his schedule without permission, against our consent, and behind our backs.  It created a whole new challenge for us - how can we trust him when he doesn't honor us as parents.  It wasn't a misunderstanding or a mistake.  He knew he wasn't supposed to do it and yet he did it anyway.  He did what he wanted to do despite our instruction.  That made me wonder if he would do the same for other "Absolute NO's" in our house.  That was major!  I couldn't trust him.  Luckily his mom did approve the class and Oliver was happy.

A different challenge was that Oliver insisted on eating only 100% healthy food and yet eating approximately six times a day.  He would eat 3-4 sandwiches at a time, and refused to eat anything else and was adamantly opposed to pizza.  Well, that created a problem… we eat healthy, but not crazy healthy and no one in our house eats that much nor that often.  He would take over an hour to eat.  We enjoy our food, eat tasty healthy foods and YES, we eat pizza once a week (on Wednesdays between XC and church).  As a foreign exchange student he is supposed to eat what the host family serves, and not create a problem.  Well, even with the best of intentions, this unusual eating habit created much contention.  Food disappeared quickly, instruction set in from both Mark and I and yet he refused to budge or adjust to our families eating style.  It's hard enough for a mother (or the person that has "kitchen" as a chore) to clean the kitchen three times a day, but to see him sit in the kitchen six times in one day was just puzzling.

He also insisted on extensive exercising every day (even before doing homework).  Again, our family is very active.  All three kids run cross country (1.5 hours of working out every day after school and running in meets on Saturday) and Robert does soccer on the days he doesn't have XC.  Mark and I work out or run regularly as well, but NO ONE can't function if they miss a workout or have to delay it for another responsibility.  This again is where the problem set in.  Oliver seemed to think he came to America to work out.  It was his #1 priority (whereas it should have been school).  He couldn't function if he didn't get to exercise and when he exercised he would spend over 3 hours at the gym (WOW!).  Betsy found this to be obsessive…  Exercise consumed his thoughts, when school, studies and homework should have come first.  We talked to Oliver about a healthy schedule keeping school as the priority - giving himself 30-40 minute breaks to exercise, but he would leave and not come back as instructed.  This caused for his grades to suffer along with the personality characteristic of procrastination.

Oliver was not used to HOMEWORK.  He said he would have 0-30 minutes of homework a day in Germany.  In America we can have 30 minutes or more per class in any given day.  He was overwhelmed.  Betsy worked with him every day after school to work out a plan (i.e.:  30 minutes of math, break for 30 minutes, shower, eat dinner, go back to homework, etc…), but Oliver would procrastinate or try to copy the work from Devon or Marissa (since they had some classes together).  Betsy then had to step in and insist Oliver do his own work.  This was very time consuming, and turned out to be pointless.  It turned out that Oliver wasn't doing the homework because when she checked IC he had several assignments missing.  He would say the teacher said it was okay… well, yes when he first came, but not 3-4 weeks after being at the school.  Oliver should have been adjusted to the work and turning everything in on time like everyone else, but he was claiming he didn't understand so he could have more time, but this only created a bigger problem having the work load mount higher and higher.  In the end, Oliver left with 2 F's in core content classes, and still no desire to put school work as his first priority.  This broke Betsy's heart as she realized she had spent night after night trying to help him understand the importance of doing his work and giving him a plan to accomplish his tasks, only to find out he still hadn't finished the work.  She had even driven him to school early for a make up quiz - only to find out that he didn't take it.  WHY?

We still think of him often and miss his company.  He had a wonderful way of asking questions and a keen interest in learning things that interested him.  He is going to a great family and will remain at the same school so we hope to see him many times.  We wish him all the best at a successful stay in America and hope he can humble himself to learn what his true priorities are.  Best wishes Oliver!

The

Very Busy Saturday

The day started at 5:00 am getting Marissa and Devon ready to catch the bus for the XC meet at the Kentucky Horse Park in Lexington, KY.  Mark drove them to school while Betsy went back to bed.

Marissa's bus left at 5:45.  They are the first to race at 9:00.
Devon helped load up his bus, and they left at 6:45.

Mark, Robert and I left the house around 7:20.  Mark left a few minutes earlier because he had to drive Jessica's car (see other post as for why).  Robert and I left in Mark's car after we gathered up everything he would need for his soccer game later in the day.

It was a complicated day.  First we'd drive to Lexington to see Marissa and her team run, and Devon and his team run.

Betsy was there, camera in hand ready to get as many photos as possible.  Robert was my shadow - I didn't want us to get separated since we were going to have to make a run for the car as soon as Devon's race was over.  The course is great in that you can see almost all of it, it's terrible in that it is in a horse pasture - horse droppings everywhere.  Robert and I had to really watch where we were stepping.

Always a smile - she loves running

Marissa ran in the girls Varsity at 9:00 am.  It is a very difficult course full of hills, horse droppings and narrow avenues to run.  She did excellent.  She ran side by side with Caitlyn Beyea for the entire race - sometimes ahead, and sometimes behind, but always within a second of her.  She finished at the same second as Caitlyn earning another PR at 11:49 in 66 place.  

Caitlyn and Marissa leading the way

A strong finish

Go MARISSA!!!

Friends and Teammates:  Morgan, Brittani, Shelby, Erin, Marissa, Emma, Caitlyn and Christina

Marissa and Katie:
Running buddies and car pool mates  

Devon ran in the boys JV at 10:10 (which started late - having a domino effect).  He has a rough race.  He is allergic to horses and didn't take any allergy medicine.  He finished the race, coincidentally, in 66th place with a time of 19:36.  It wasn't a PR, but close to other teammates.  He really wished he could have done better for his team, but he was just struggling too much with the breathing.  As soon as Devon's team finished, Robert and I had to RUN (and I mean RUN a long way) back to the car to get him on the way to his soccer game north of Cincinnati, OH.  Robert and I made excellent time on our way to Mason, OH for a soccer game that started at 1:30 (be there by 12:30 pm).

Devon working hard

Devon with only 600 meters to go

Devon running hard at the finish 

Robert and his team had a great game.  They controlled the movement of the ball 95% of the game.  Working the ball forwards and backwards maintaining control.  Robert played wide mid, he had several close attempts at scoring.  We eventually won the game 1-0.  It was nice to have a victory.  This was the first Conference game of the fall season!

Robert and I then had a 2 hour drive home.  Poor Robert hadn't had enough food and started to feel car sick just as traffic got back (construction).  We stopped and ate at Fazolli's.  We finally reached home around 6:30.  What a long day!

What happened to my van?

I drove Mark's car to Cincinnati to reduce the number of miles on the van, however when I got back Mark told me that the van wouldn't start when he tried to come home from helping the Lin family move.  Luckily, he giggled some things around under the hood helping it  to start and he was able to drive home, but then, we couldn't start the car once we got it home.

Dead van.  We will see if it can be revived :(

It needed a new starter, and they said the transmission was leaking and my sway bar needed to be replaced.  How much money does Mark want to invest in a sinking ship.  The van is going down….down…down.

Let's hope it stays afloat for a little while longer.  :)

Autism Conference with Temple Grandin

Friday - Autism Conference in Cincinnati with Kim S.

A friend of a friend and I have recently connected because of our connection with children on the autism spectrum.  She is in the beginning stages; learning if her child has Asperger's syndrome or something close to it, while mine has been on it a while but still experiencing challenges.

The Future Horizon's group hosted a seminar with Temple Grandin coming.  I would have loved to meet her, but she was in and out before we had time for questions.  I would really like to know how she classifies herself now - meaning, now that she has over come so many of the traditional complications of Aspergers, and yet still has difficulties.  That is where I see Devon.  Devon has mastered some (most) of the areas of his current life right now.  He is an excellent student, dedicated scout and honors his beliefs.  He has friends (sort of) and engages with others on a team (XC) and gives the team 100% of his effort.  However, that doesn't really mean he can live on his own, survive the chaos of college, etc.  I hope he will and can, but I wonder how much of his success is because he has such a great support system in place.  If I weren't there to help, would he be able to do it on his own - would he think through the "best solution" or figure out the "non literal meaning"… I hope so, but I wonder.

The conference was wonderful in that it echoed the validity and proof that everything I have done with Devon so far was and continues to be the "Right" strategy to follow.  I wish I could help everyone that has a child with Asperger or is on the Autism spectrum to understand the consistency of allowable actions and follow through of consequences in vital to success.  I wish everyone knew that praise of positive behavior is 100% more effective that recognition of negative behavior.  I wish everyone would bear down and be firm on their expectations - what you expect of one child should be expected of them all.  That was a huge key in Devon's success.  For the most part, we didn't make exceptions for him.  Anyway, it was a great reminder that we are doing the right things.

It was also such a good feeling to have shared the conference with someone else that may benefit from it.  I hope and pray for her family as well!

Jessica is true BYU blue

First home football game - look at all that BYU spitit!

Looks like Jessica and her friends had a great time - too bad we can't say the same for the BYU quarter back.

YAH!!   Let's Go BYU!

Jenny, Jessica and Amanda

Jessica, Jenny and Amanda

Thursday - JIMMER COMES!!!

Subbing Starts Again

It's always the same with my job ... the beginning of the school year is slow; that is that most teachers do not need nor want to take time off, but as the days turn to weeks and weeks turn to months the reality to need to take time off for appointments, sickness, workshops, etc. kicks in.  That's where I come in. 

I enjoy subbing at the middle and high school level (probably because that is the age and maturity level of the children I am around most of the time).  The need for subs have increased and my time is now being filled at the schools.

It was great to not be needed while I was taking Jessica to college, getting Oliver settled in, but now it's time to get back to work.  :)

Worry for Devon

Devon is doing great this school year, but I worry that he has taken on, or should I say won't let go of some things.  Devon is still active in his Venture Crew, still active in Beta Club, still working one day a week (on the weekend), taking a rigorous course load at school and running cross country for the school.  He did all of this last year at this time except for that he didn't have a job.  I thought that might have been too much then, now we've added the job and the stress of learning to drive. 

Devon doesn't want to quit his job or cross country, or Venture or Beta. 

I guess as long as he feels he can handle it, I have to trust him...a mother's worry!

Stake Conference

Tonight was the adult session for stake conference.  Stake Conference was how Mark and I spent our official first date!  … here we are again 20 years later, enjoying our date night together, just as we started.

The conference was amazing.  The overall theme was "A Touch of the Master's Hand" with President Day finishing on "Preparing Spiritually"

He shared a story of a hand cart company that burned blankets and jackets just days before a huge snow storm that left them miserable, frostbitten, hypothermia and even dead.  We, too, must not give up the small things for worldly things.  We need to make sure that we don't invite the filth and dirt of the world into our homes (great video).  This reminded me of a lesson I had to teach Jessica a few years ago when one of her best friends changed her values and ended up drinking and making bad choices.  I told Jessica to imagine that girl in the middle of a muddy dirty pond.  Jessica was allowed to go right up to the edge of the pond … call out to her, reach out to her with other object, but not ever go into the muddy dirty water to save her.  We want to make sure that we don't let others influence our focus away from our eternal goals.

Focus on having:
Family Prayer
Personal Prayer
Family Scripture study
Personal Scripture study
Family Home Evening
Temple attendance
and Tithing

Central Hardin Invitational

Before getting to the Central Hardin Invitational, it is strange that Marissa's team and Devon's team don't have races today.  Marissa's team is practicing in the morning, but Devon's team is taking a day off.  Good thing because he is scheduled to work 10-6 today.

Robert and Betsy left the house at 6:30 am to get to the meet at the Hardin County Fairgrounds by 8:00 - we, of course had to stop for our traditional breakfast - yum!

Robert's team goes to warm up.  The first teams to run are the elementary kids.  Right in the middle of their race it starts to pour rain.  I felt so bad for the little runners.  The girls middle school is next.  It drizzles some during their race, but starts to dry up.  We have a fantastic race, with finishers at 1st, 2nd, 4th, 8th & 11th … - we win the race with 24 points.

Now it's time for the boys to run.   Luckily the rain stopped, but the ground is wet and slippery.  Several of the girls had muddy knees.  The course is one that you can't see the runners for most of the run.  I was able to see the boys start and finish with nothing in between.  It's another great race for the North Olhdam boys.  They remain undefeated.   It's a great thing to see all the boys coming in so close together in their NO uniforms.  Robert had a great run today (even though he almost fell at a corner back in the course).  He had a PR at 11:44 finishing 13th in the race out of 133 runners.

Interesting Question

Okay, so I post about the experiences of my life, and someone commented the other day that I "Brag enough".  It was thought provoking.

How do you be happy for your family's accomplishments without it sounding like you are bragging.  I guess it would be bragging if I were calling and telling everyone, "hey guess what … did?"  But didn't do that.  I guess it would be bragging, if I was fixated only on what my kids accomplished, but I'm not.  I am very interested in the team as a whole and each runner for all the team, and each player of the soccer team.

I am pleased when one of my children does something "good" - what parent wouldn't be?  I am happy for good grades, good effort, accomplishing goals, etc.  This is good and positive parenting.  So when does it cross that invisible line that I am now being accused of bragging?  Good question!

I didn't tell anyone about my kids accomplishments, and at the same time I told everyone by posting on my blog.  The mistake was thinking I could use my blog as a journal, and record my happiness for my kids.  This blog, is for recording events, happy and sad, big and small, positive and negative, that the Lowe family experiences.  As Mark would say it's "the good, the bad and the ugly" (hee hee).

We have had our share and then some of the bad, and the ugly - it's nice to have some good.  I'm sorry that you as a reader can't have joy for others accomplishments.

Amazing Day for the Lowes at the Rumble in the Jungle

The night before the race, the Rumble in the Jungle, our house is full of excitement and anxiety.  Common things heard are …

"I hope I do good."

"I've never run Varsity"

"What if I don't do good."

"Marissa, Devon, Robert remember to drink more water"

"Did you get enough to eat, because you wont want much tomorrow morning."

"Drink more water"

"Time for bed, everyone needs a good night's sleep"

Tomorrow is  a big day for our family.  Devon, Marissa and Robert will be running in one of the most prestigious cross country meets in the state of Kentucky because it has such a true "Cross Country" course…filled with hills, narrow and wide areas, running through a wooded area that I call a forest.

Devon is running on the first team of the JV race.  It starts at 9:15 a.m.

Marissa is running for the first time on the Varsity team.  Her race starts at 10:00 a.m.

Robert is running on the middle school boys team.  His race isn't until 1:00 p.m. 

We get up, get Devon and Marissa a good breakfast and then Mark and Devon leave by 7:15 to be at the meet by 7:45 (early).  I come shortly after with Marissa, Robert and Oliver.  We wanted to give Robert more time to sleep (since he really doesn't need to be there until 11:00).

Betsy has agreed to take photographs for all six teams - JV & Varsity girls, JV and Varsity boys, Middle School Girls and Boys.  The first race is at 8:30.  Mark, Betsy, Oliver and Robert are great spectators.  We watch the start (Betsy taking photographs the whole time), then run over to another section of the course - more photographs, then to spot three of the course and then finally to the finish line to cheer the teams on and once again, take photographs.  We do this six times!   

For the first race there isn't any stress since non of our kids are in the race, but we do want to cheer on the JV girls.  They do great and finish 3rd overall, 1st in their division.  I think it would have been 1st place if Marissa, Emma and Christina were running but all three of them were moved up to Varsity.

Devon runs in the second race.  He gets a great start and stays close to the person we told him to stay with.  He looks strong and confident.  He has an amazing finish - it is a race to the finish against his team mate and friend, Danny Walker.  In the end Danny passed him - Devon actually says he's happy Danny did, he knew he would.  Devon finished 17th with a 19:07 time.   That is over a minute faster than what he ran in the Rumble last year and 30 ish seconds better than his last race.  Devon was in the top 50 - he got a medal!   Way to go Devon.  

Marissa's race was right after Devon's.  She was on the very far side, second back, but got off to a great start!  She was in a great position the entire race, surprising us since it was a Varsity race.  At the 2 mile marker Marissa was in 2nd place for our team, right behind Shelby Adams.  Then the runner disappeared into the forest again, so you don't see them until they approach the finish area.  As the lead runners are finishing the race, we are watching, Shelby Adams comes out of the woods, but right behind her is Marissa!  She's done amazing!!!!  She finished in 46th place with a time of 21:57.  That's a 1:37 minute PR!  … and only 2 seconds behind Shelby.  Marissa received a medal for 46th place.  She did amazing; this was her first VARSITY race and she came in 2nd fastest runner for the whole team.  She also broke her season goal of breaking 22.  We are so proud of you Marissa, and so happy for you!!!

Okay, back to the races.  The boys Varsity run.  They do amazing - all our runners are in the front of the pack.  We finish third behind two AAA teams.  Devon's time is faster than one of the Varsity runners - that's a good feeling.  Now there is a long break for the high school awards before the middle school races.

Robert's race is after the middle school girls.  I didn't realize it but my camera photo card became full during the girls race.  Yikes!  I had to go through, very quickly to delete some mis-shots to make room for the boys race.  Now it's the boys turn.  Robert is right on the front line.  We told him to stay with Tyler Scholten - he did, and even passed him down the finish stretch.  He was only a .03 second from passing Dallas as well.  Robert finished at 11:56 for a 3K, 8th for his team and 21 overall.  We have such a strong middle school team.  They won 1st place and continue to be undefeated.

What a great day!  All three medaled, all three improved their times.  Devon had a season best, Marissa and Robert each earned a PR.  I feel so happy for all of them.  They set their goals and accomplished their goals and even exceeded them.

Second set of games

Okay, so we are ready for a win - but we are stuck in this 2-1 loss thing…

Robert's third and fourth games are played on the same day.  The weather is much better 78 degrees.  His first game is at 9:30 am and his second games is at 3:30 pm.

They control the ball most of the first half but let on in at half time.  Luckily we come out strong at the start of the second half and score (Noah).  Unfortunately, the opponent also gets a goal that half so the game ends 2-1.  Robert had some very nice plays and passes.  Unfortunately, Parker got hurt in this game and had to sit out the rest of the game.

The second game was almost the exact same as the first game.  We lost 2-1.  We just can't seem to get our spacing right.  We clump up which means we are leaving an area or a person wide open.  Better luck next weekend.

Oliver becomes part of the family

Well, wonders never cease.   While I was out at BYU with Jessica, there was a young man in Germany wishing to come to America.  On the day I flew back home I received an email asking if we could welcome a young man from Germany for a short time until the agency can find him a permanent home.

We talked it over as a family and decided we would like to help this young man by opening our home to him and his dreams of coming to America.  We announced that we would welcome him on Tuesday.  On Friday I received a phone call saying, "Your foreign exchange student is at the airport, are you coming to get him?"

Betsy:  "WHAT???"  "We didn't even know he was coming!  I'll be right there."  Oh, MY goodness.  How could this happen?  Somebody didn't tell us that he was coming.  I made a quick phone call on my way out the door to find out what was going on, nobody understood how he could be here without anyone knowing…

Well, to make a long story short, Oliver is here - safe and sound and SUPER happy to be here in America.  We love having him in our home.  He has his own room (Jessica's transformed into a boy's room).  He is attending high school, working out, running and enjoying the opportunity to live in America.

First Soccer games of the season

Robert made the A  team at Javanon Soccer Club.  He is so excited.  This team looks to be a very promising group of talented young athletes.

They have been practicing every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday for 2 hours each session for about a month.  It's intense!

They had their first games of the season on Saturday, 9/3 in St. Louis, MO.  It was 99 degrees F there.  The first game was at 11:00 am - right in the heat of the day.

We lost 5-1, but mostly due to their own errors.  They should have one.  We were out played on the first goal, but then our spacing got off down the middle and they scored again.  The third goal was an own goal - oops! (by Mason Rice) and the forth goal was an own goal - oops! (by the goalie Trey), and the fifth goal was scored because our goalie didn't even move to stop the ball.  YIKES!

Robert started the game (awesome) and individually he had a great game.  He only let one ball get past him, but then it went out of bounds.

Luckily the second game, which was also in the heat of the day at 3:30 pm was much better.  We still lost 2-1, but we played much better.  Robert didn't start but was subbed in quickly.  He had a shot on goal, and a few that would have been assists, but he was out of range for his goal, and although it was a good cross, we didn't make the score.

Tough day, especially after driving 5 hours for him to play!